Saturday, February 28, 2009

Poem in Tribute to A Terrifying Dream

lets call this one "The Baker"

They’re sweet and savory
And oh so delicious too.

This is the story of a baker
Who may seem a bit mad to you
He would bake pies oh so sweet
And sell them to children
Children like me and you
But he became dissatisfied
With his kind of cooking
His pies were like heroes
He’d say with a grin
They save us from hunger
They save us from sadness
They can always save the day
They make you all happy
They pick you all up
And yes, every single day
So he made pies with pears and
Chicken and Apple, and
Everything under the sun
His pies were delicious
Loved by all who could taste them
Except a single one;
The baker seemed unhappy
His meat pie was lacking
He loved them but they were wrong.
So he chopped someone up
And tried them in the pot
And finally he tasted some one
His smile was wide
His smile was huge
His wide body and face
It all seemed to move
The taste was delicious.
His pie was his hero
It had salvaged his day
And it made him feel good.
So it couldn’t be true
But maybe it is
This tale so morbid and perverse
But I hope you remember the baker
His glory and defeat
He called his pies “heroes”
For they would save your day
The would put you on your feet
They could make you jump up
They could make you smile
They could make you feel good inside
But ultimately the question
Said with a smile
Is for you to remember too
The question he asked
When he first got a taste
For cannibal pie stew:

Who wants to be a hero too?

I just woke up from a nightmare, in the nightmare, what looked like a mad, talking, typewriter tells me with perfect rhyme, the story of a baker who dices himself from head to toe, smiling like mad, and bakes himself, then writes the entire poem on the typewriter (yes, implying an insane ghost.) the whole thing accompanied by pictures which were kind of burtonesque. i would see a pie maybe, but mostly i would see the baker and his horrific smile.

But what surprises me most, is that my brain can compose terrifying poetry with perfect rhyme in my sleep,

and that all i can remember when i'm awake is the last line and the premise.

and the rhyme scheme and cantor (which were constant and fantastic) go out the window.


Friday, February 27, 2009

Paris is Burning

I have just finished watching what may be one of the greatest Documentaries I will ever see.

Paris is Burning is about the 1980's drag ball scene. It's about dancing Vogue, throwing Shade, being fabulous and being what you want to be.
Actually, Paris is Burning focuses on what it's like to not ONLY be a minority, NOT ONLY be LGBT, but to be poor, and living in a rich, straight, white man's city. the city in question is of course; "New York City! Center of the universe. Things may be shitty, but at least they cant be worse."(Angel, Rent)
Truly, that quote, though written years later, fits this movie like a fine opera glove. Through the film you can see the struggle of the young and gay, or transsexual, minorities during the 1980's. With no money, many resorted to hooking, "mopping" (stealing,) and working any job, legal or otherwise, that they could, just to make a living of some kind. Such a life is depressing. And for many or most of these poor urbanites, the only thing that really seems to keep them going is the drag balls.
The Balls are amazing events. At a ball, one is not yourself, you're what you WANT to be, what you've ALWAYS wanted to be, and you're FIERCE. In real life, you're saving for your sex change operation by hooking, or being an escort, all you want is a normal life, or a famous, fabulous life. you want to be either normal, or what you are but important, but of course you aren't, and the crushing truth? You may never be. Remember, these were the days before RuPaul and Superstar. The days before drag reviews stocked by straight woman at hen parties. So, what you lived for, was The Ball. At a ball you could be anything. You could be a fabulous rich exective, and opulant rich, housewife, a fantastic queen of EVERYTHING. You could be a military officer, successful, manly, you could be "Real."
It's escapism, and who could blame them?
That's not even a true overview of the documentry, it's a garbled mush trying to get across how wonderful and meaningful it is, how inspiring yet depressing it is. In this film you see how far we have come as a people, and how we haven't moved at all. It's a dichotomy. The masculine and feminine clashing behind closed doors, the inspiring tale, and the depressing realization that, ultimately, it has touched so very few. true many hundreds, or thousands, have watched this film. In fact it's grossed a fairly significant amount of money for an LGBT documentry, but if you ask most people if they've heard of the House of Dupree? They won't know. i certainly didn't, and i bet you don't even know what a "House" is.
It's not your fault or societies fault, or anyones, but it's worth learning about.

I have a tinyurl that links to it:

Please watch it. You won't regret it.

This post is an utter mess but I will not be fixing it, as it's late, and I really don't think i can properly analyze this film so soon after watching it, and there's so much in it, it wouldn't be easy anyway.

Cleaning Day, Found My Watch, Feeling Better, and An Interview.

I had an interview with the embassy, got two hours of sleep the night before, but it doesn't matter, I think they liked me, thought I was funny. I made sure to be honest, explain that I've been sick lately, but usually I'm more then capable of the job. its two hours a day, which sounds like nothing because well, it pretty much is, no matter. The hardest part of the job, should i get it (fingers crossed) will be getting there and back.
If i take a taxi, I'll actually be loosing money for the day.
but it looks like I could take the MRT and bus number 7 for about 4 dollars or less even a day. just take the MRT to orchard, ride number 7 to the british embassy, walk the 5 minutes to the US embassy,
basically i'll have to leave at 10:30 or maybe 10:45, but that's fine. And instead of taking the bus back to the MRT, I'll just walk, it's easier.
It'll start out at about 17 dollars a day, but move up a bit when they have me work longer hours.

Ok besides the interview. I'm feeling a lot better health wise.
My throat hurts alot, it hurts like hell actually. But still better overall. I went from having all sorts of pains and aches and stomach trouble and such to just having a really bad sore throat. Topical Benzocaine, panadol, and a daily dose of Acyclovire (used for herpes usually, but it works on what i have) is helping it along. I'll be fully healed soon, but for now, It hurts.

My usual watch ran out of battery power. Maybe i'll just buy a new digital this time, its had a good run. Eight years of loyal service, maybe it's time for retirement.
Also I found my nice watch, the fancy expensive one I got for graduation. It's in perfect condition, except a single LED flickered out of existance. If I can find the warrenty I'll get it patched up, but really, it's fine, i'll just add an extra hour on mentally after 2 o'clock.

Finally, my boyfriend is coming over tonight, but has to rush off for a time tomorrow. Still he'll be spending the nights at my place, and all of sunday with me. and we'll have breakfast together. Anyway, it means today i'm cleaning my room, hiding the massive pile of books.

Ok everyone, that's all for today, I'm going to make the rest of that mac and cheese i have.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sore Throat Blues

It's 6 am. four hours of sleep.
fell asleep feeling off
woke up feeling pain.
my throat burns like crazy,'
its sore as all hell
i have to breath through my mouth
cus with my nose, i can't even smell.

i need gatorade, baby
lots of it, can't you see?
I'd like that fruity punch and that lemony kind,
i like them, baby can't you see?

(Set to almost any song by Robert Johnson)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bailout Rant.

I want to say first that I LIKE the ARRA, American Reinvestment and Recovery Act, because I'm into the whole Keynesian economics, socialization of vital industries, and state health care for the lower and middle classes.
What I don't like is the main criticism I hear about it. "Once again I have to support Americans living beyond their means..."
Its all stuff like that, always "why should I have to help the poor" or "why should I pay for other peoples healthcare"
Think about this.
People are getting pissed off, about HELPING PEOPLE.
People are angry about doing the right thing, assisting the downtrodden and those who WEREN'T necessarily thinking they were living beyond their means.

Back then those who, if one actually looked at their finances, should not have bought a house at that point, were being told by the realtors and banks that they could and should afford it.

And that concept of "NO IT'S MY MONEY" NO ITS NOT, not anymore, its public now because its either give more money to the Fed for a while, or have a complete economic collapse.

On top of that, something that kind of sickens me is the worry about the market value of ones house. In my opinion? They should be glad to even HAVE a house, and shouldn't even be THINKING of selling the thing at this point.

I realize, not everyone who I've asked to read my blog will agree, and of course I'm not totally right or anything, its not like i went off and did a ton of market research, or looked at all of the numbers, but this is a rant, so I'm just venting some anger.
I realize that this will have to be paid for largely by my generation, but to be honest? If it works, or even if it doesn't fully work, but if it helps even ONE person, I'm still willing to pay that price.

Health Update

Ok, I just got back from the doctor, verdict is that, with my symptoms, there's a good chance that I have Dengue, the blood test should come by sometime late tomorrow I think, but once the full course of the disease had been explained to me, I'm actually hoping it may be, to an extent.
Why? because the main negatives at this point will only be a rash, and a low platelet count, which i can handle. i just have to be careful not to get hurt for a while, and not scratch, two things i can definitely handle with minimal problems.

That being said, I also talked to him about getting a small spectrum std test, as I'll admit to having had unprotected sex two or three times, and with more then one partner, namely it's about what i did with Chris that could cause concern.
I'm sure I have nothing, but its not a matter of that, its a matter of having that piece of paper that says i'm healthy.
My boyfriend should get one soon too, he just has to go to his GP and ask.
But that being said its not just HIV they're testing for, Syphilis too, i would have gone for the Hepatitis B test, but I should have already had my immunization shots for that, especially with all the travel.

Outside of that, I'm doing very well, whatever it is I've had this last week has calmed down to an extreme today. I actually felt worse then ever, minus stomach pain, last night, however this morning I felt ok, and i havent taken any meds yet today but i still feel alright.

I may post something about the bailout soon....

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A Rant About Gay-Inaction

I'm thinking about something which I may have to fight for for the rest of my life, and not just me but some of my friends and my own mother.
Something most people I know can do that I don't even have the option of doing in anywhere but the above places.
I'm thinking about Marriage.
It has been over 40 years since the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s began, and so many groups have gained equality, not just in the states but around the world, since then, except for the group that I and my mother identify with. Its been 30 years since the assassination of Harvey Milk and we've only slightly progressed since then, which is sickening.
I'm listening to a podcast at this moment.
Its an interview with a great great man, a friend of Milk who appears in the film (in the background, a little cameo) and everything he's said is striking and uplifting, and somehow depressing.
His name is Cleve Jones.
He's saying one thing really, that we must now demand Federal Action, this has gone on for much much too long, accepting little bits of hope and continuing to take abuse. We've gone on doing this for years.
Its rediculous.
Does this mean another march on washington? probably. does it mean boycotting businesses like Cinemark which had/have CEOs who support things like Prop 8? yes.
but boycotts, Marching, Protest, going from door to bloody door to talk to people at home and tell them, plead with them, to support your cause, requires focus.
Which is what Mr.Jones supports; YES we should fight, and we should take no more compromise in LGBT equality until we win.
I realize most of the people I'm tagging in this are not Gay or even Bisexual, but equal rights are important and we should all fight for them.
I think its probably a good idea for most of you to listen to this interview,
On iTunes its under Feast of Fools podcast, episode #892.
Cleve Jones also came up with the AIDS quilt.
I might delete or have to re format this note. but in my defense, I AM pretty new to the whole posting things online thing, i also might put it on my LJ but no one reads that anymore.
I'm already tired of fighting, and i haven't even had a chance to begin.

Water in Ghana

I don't usually get out my soap box for anything non LGBT based, Especially not this early in the morning, but i just woke up to a report that really jilted me.
People in Ghana have to pay over half their income on water that they have to actually walk to get.
This probably doesn't surprise any of you.
Except one thing. Ghana has an extensive pipe system for the very purpose of providing water to the masses, which can't be turned on because corporations wont allow for it, and the government wont allow charitable corporations help do so.
Ghana actually has vast freshwater resources, but because of privatisation they can use none of it affordably.
The exact story is that the world bank pressured the gov. of Ghana (an African country I've always liked and actually might be able to place on a map) to give one of their most precious resources to corporations in its whole.
Many people spend over half their extremely low income (The example on the BBC was 10 US cents for water alone, over half the family's income) on water which is sometimes polluted.
Maternity wards actually ask the pregnant woman to bring fresh water with them.
THIS is why privatization isn't always good.
World Bank HAS gone back to the middle on this subject, but the damage is done.

First Post!

Always wanted to say that.
Ok, a blog. maybe i can do this. just because i failed on facebook and on LJ, doesn't mean that i cant keep a blog.
this would be so much easier with a camera.
anyway. I'm typing this whilst being ill, thirty eight and a half degree fever, not pleasant.
but I'll get better soon enough.
I'm going to move all of my old posts from other things, embarrassing as they may be, on to this. kinda make it more substantial.
Might want to make this private if i post certain info i ought to be secretive about.
Maybe I'll go back to LJ.
or cross post, Airy's on that.
but then Rajen's on this.
everyone's on facebook though....
hmm i can keep three network thingies i guess.
though don't be surprised if the next post is two to eighteen months from now.